Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
