I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize