capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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