WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
