I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
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