Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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