she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
