I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
