the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
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