fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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