I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
