its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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