The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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