Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
