She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
