I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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