I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize