He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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