I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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