I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
