he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize