I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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