so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
