so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
