i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
do herpes really smell.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Randomize
