2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
