i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
