We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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