I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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