i don't like sucking hair
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
