I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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