The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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