Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Ketchup is God's man juice
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
