I heard we made out
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
