i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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