I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
