My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
