He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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