Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
