Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
