She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
