I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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