Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize