my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
