we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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