new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
