I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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