i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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