I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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