Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
