I must be too annoying 4 u.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
