she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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