Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
