who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
