matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Randomize
