North Korea, Best Korea!
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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