forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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