THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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