my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You did what with his pubic hair?
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