and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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