you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
