booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
